I am by no means a writer. Occasionally I am pretty funny. I am always 100% southern. I say "yall" and add "bless their heart" to the end of gossip. I know how to fry chicken and you will find me on the back row wrestling a toddler at church on Sunday. I like my hair big and too much lipstick and aaaa too much rogue (<- yes I did insert a cliche line from a country song. Confederate Railroad - I Like My Women Just A Little On The Trashy Side) I think men should drive a truck or at least a vehicle made on a truck chassis. I can make you gravy. SEC football is right under church on the list of importance.
But most of all southern women tell it like it is.
We will tell you look bad in an outfit and somehow you will think we are so kind, sweet, and caring. You won't think we are mean or malicious, and in all honesty we aren't trying to be. We will become friends. You will confide in us. You will ask for our opinions over a glass of wine or a cold bottle of a domestic beer, probably a low calorie or lite one.
Now that you know what southern women are, let me tell you about fat girls, also known as fatty patties, fluffys, big girls, chubby, curvy, or any other synonym you can find for fat. Fat girls are funny. Each of us have our own quirks that make us funny. We over analyze. Some of us are bitter. You know the bitter ones I am talking about, they see a skinny fit girl and instead of getting to know her, they yell out that she needs a cheeseburger and make that face. You know the face I am talking about. The face is a half snarl because she is judging but the top half is day dreaming about assaulting a hamburger with her snarled lips. I do NOT be her. I mean, if I see a skinny girl and she wants a hamburger, I am gonna get her in the car and we gonna go find McDonald's and indulge (I am not going to deny her) but if she wants some healthy bird food, we can hit up the Panera. This big girl going to get two Panera chocolate chip cookies to go. I think everyone should love themselves and we don't need fatty patties to hate on the skinny girls and vice versa.
So here's more about the actual person writing this blog. My name is Julie. I am young... young-ish. Well. I have not come close to my mid life crisis but I have completed my quarter life crisis. My quarter life crisis landed me a divorce, a seriously unhealthy tolerance for hard liquor, a ton of grey hairs, lots of stories, and best of all, I am the single mom to an amazing little girl. She is definitely making my years to my mid life crisis fun, full of joy and laughter, and hectic as all get out. I would not change a thing. I am a hair stylist. Also, I am finishing up my degree in accounting. I am double threat. I can make you feel beautiful and show you how to save some dollars. Can I get a yes maam! (And the readers say "Yes Maam!") I yell Hotty Toddy Gosh Almighty in the fall and I am addicted Diet Mountain Dew.
I hope that this is not another thing I start with big intentions but then it falls to the side. I hope that I continue to blog daily, woah... wait... setting the bar way to high. baby steps. I hope that I continue to blog bi-weekly. Yep bi-weekly. I have no idea what my topics may and will be but I can guarantee whatever they be, I will tell alllllllll about it like any true southern fat girl should.
Till "not the next but the next week"
Julie
