Glitter Rainbows on My Heart

For a while now something has been extremely heavy on my heart, yes I do have one. This post is going to be a little different from the previous, but it will be honest and raw. I may ruffle a few feathers but that is ok. A feather boa never looks good smoothed down anyway...

Let's have some story time....

In fourth grade I looked like a mini version of Roseanne Barr from her show Roseanne. I had the real cute bob and full face bang. I was chubby and chinky eyed. My mom worked hard to provide for me. She was a single mom and she made sure she could give me just as much as the children who had a mom and dad present at home. Because of her tedious and demanding work schedule I stayed in after school care. I did not mind it a bit. I got to play longer on the play ground. I got to put home work off longer. It was all good in the private school hood with me. I have a vivid memory of meeting one of my first life long best friends. He was a cute tan boy in the 3rd grade. He had the perfect auburn hair women ask me for in the salon. It was cut in that perfect bowl cut all the boys were sporting in the 90's. He was funny. He aggravated me but he also made me happy. Together we played hard. We would cherry bomb each other on the see saws. We would see how sick we could make the other one on the merry go round. We planned extravagant trips to Chattanooga for the summer. We also came up with a plan on how we were going to get our parents to take us there. They never happened, in case you were wondering.  For years this little tan auburn haired boy was my best friend. Through middle school and high school we experienced lots of first together and lots of trouble. He was there when I was sad. He was there when I was excited. He was even the voice of reason when I had some real humdinger ideas. College time came and he moved to middle Tennessee and I stayed here. We still kept up with another, catching up on quick trips home. Even though distance had separated us, he was still there when I needed him. I can remember the night after my ex-husband decided he no longer wanted to be married, this same boy drove through the night just to watch me sob and tell me it was going to be ok. I still see him when I can and I know that when I reach out to him, he will give the best sound advice he can.

Jump forward a few years...

Now I am a single mother to an amazing and beautiful little girl. She is almost 2. She has a lot of people who love her dearly. There are 3 people in particular that love this little girl a whole lot. Her uncles. They are not my brothers, but they are my best friends. We go to dinner a few times a week. When we pull up to a restaurant, she begins shouting their names. She grins when she sees them. She reaches for them and loves on them. They feel the same way, minus the shouting. They grin and love on her. They play with her. They wipe her mouth when the cheese dip has missed it's landing. They give up their iPhone so she can play and be happy. If she is sick, they call and check on her. They love her. They would do anything they could for her. She will always know that she has 3 uncles that will always have her back on top of all the others.

These 4 people have one thing in common. They are gay.

Recently in the news I have seen so much hate and intolerance on the LGBT community it breaks my heart. The amount of hate that has been bred in our society is pitiful. What I have noticed is that the majority of this hate is coming from the Christian community.

I am a Christian.

I also am a sinner. I fight sin every day, all day. I give in to sin. I gossip. I slip up and cuss. I have a child out of wedlock. - I also believe ,with every fiber in my being, that God gave me Harper to save my life - I am a divorcee. I can be jealous. I have abused substances. I have lied. I have a list a mile long and I will add to that list. Because I am not perfect and I will never be and you will never be.

Why is it that all my sins are ok? Why is it that my sins are more socially acceptable?

If you heard of a baker refusing to sell me a birthday cake for my child because she was born out of wedlock, would you have the same reaction as a baker not serving gay couples?

Scripture tells us that we are born without sin. Of course we are born without sin. All we have done before we were born was grow in a womb. We are born with addictive personalities. We are born with depression and anxiety. We are born with mental illness. Sometimes the ailments are dormant when we are young and later triggered by something. Sometimes we can suffer from theses ailments and we were not born with them.We can be born with lots of characteristics that can and will contribute to our personal fight with sin.

I do not believe someone would ever choose to be gay. Have you watched the way that the LGBT community is treated? Who would choose that? Have you been there and given someone a place to live because their family disowned them after finding out they were gay? Try and force a heterosexual to be gay, see how that one works.

I do know one thing for sure. In scripture, the people who were the least loveable and least desired, were the people Jesus seemed to love the hardest.

I also know that the Greatest Command was to love one another.

Whats going on? What is the Christian community doing? 

Most members, that I know, in the LGBT community believe in God but will not step foot in a church because of previous experiences. They either are not welcomed or they are welcomed and churches begin to try and fix them, "un-gay" them. Can't we just welcome them and love them? <-rhetorical question... yes we can.

The hate has got to go. The mean and belittling comments about the LGBT community need to go too. We all have needed kindness and acceptance in our life at one point. Think about that before you post some offensive rant on the LGBT community. If you are not a member of that community, chances are you have no idea what their struggle is. You may need some kindness one day. Fill your good karma quota, before you fill up your bad karma quota and it gets returned. 

Hey Big Girls, Go on and back it up...

Hey big girls, go on and back it up. Yep. Back it on up in your house, to a mirror, and rethink some of these life choices I see yall making....

Now, before I go on my "Big girl no no" rant let me say a few things. First, I am a big girl. I am not ashamed of who I am. I am all about loving yourself and not placing your worth in your looks. Sometimes, well pretty much all the time, loving yourself means choosing what is BEST for you. Choosing what flatters and compliments you. Be daring, be courageous, but please don't be stupid.

So, lets start with some things going down right now... Lane Bryant and there "progressive" I am no angel marketing campaign. Girl, I know you ain't no angel. I seen you tearing up that cupcake like a ravenous savage. No angel there.  BUT. Wearing a bikini or jumpsuit doesn't mean that you are any less of an angel. It means you stupid. You fell in to some body acceptance movement marketing gimmick and now you walking around looking like the Michelin man's little sister. I have said it before and will say it again, when you take all this big girl loving and smash it in to a jumpsuit or a bikini, you look like someone is strangling a busted can of biscuits.  STOP it!!! No one buys the busted can of biscuits at the Kroger's. They buy the can that looks the prettiest with less dings. Go on over to the dresses and put your biscuits and ham hocks in to a nice aline dress. You will look nice, stylish, sophisticated and not like you belong on the dented can clearance isle. Dress yourself with your worth in mind.

Here is another big girl scenario that makes my jaw drop, my head turn, and my face get all perplexed with worry about your health and comfort, sports cars. GIRRRRRLLLLLL... just because you can crisco up and squeeze your lovely lady lumps into a fiat or z3 does not mean you look good while doing so. I see them knees shifting all your junk up in your throat. I know you suffocating, that's why you had to drop the top on a cloudy 42 degree day. Go get you a nice sedan sized sports car. Relax and push the seat all the way back. No one may get to ride in the back with you but at least you do not look like you are stuck and compacted.  It do not be crute when you can scratch your knee with your teeth because you are so cramped up.

Big girls and heels.....
We have all seen you stumbling in the stilettos while your knees and ankles are webble wobbling against one another. We cannot do it. You can't balance a brick house on a sewing needle. Go get you some wedges or thick heels, so when you walk you know a heel is not going to give out and you aren't going to be booty up on the ground with an abrasion on your lip that looks reminiscent of Hitler's mustache.

We all want to look beautiful and feel beautiful, but just because they make it, does not mean you need it. Compliment yourself instead of constricting yourself to societal norms. Be you because you are beautiful... but not in a jumpsuit, bikini, little bitty sports car or wobbling in high heels.