Hey big girls, go on and back it up. Yep. Back it on up in your house, to a mirror, and rethink some of these life choices I see yall making....
Now, before I go on my "Big girl no no" rant let me say a few things. First, I am a big girl. I am not ashamed of who I am. I am all about loving yourself and not placing your worth in your looks. Sometimes, well pretty much all the time, loving yourself means choosing what is BEST for you. Choosing what flatters and compliments you. Be daring, be courageous, but please don't be stupid.
So, lets start with some things going down right now... Lane Bryant and there "progressive" I am no angel marketing campaign. Girl, I know you ain't no angel. I seen you tearing up that cupcake like a ravenous savage. No angel there. BUT. Wearing a bikini or jumpsuit doesn't mean that you are any less of an angel. It means you stupid. You fell in to some body acceptance movement marketing gimmick and now you walking around looking like the Michelin man's little sister. I have said it before and will say it again, when you take all this big girl loving and smash it in to a jumpsuit or a bikini, you look like someone is strangling a busted can of biscuits. STOP it!!! No one buys the busted can of biscuits at the Kroger's. They buy the can that looks the prettiest with less dings. Go on over to the dresses and put your biscuits and ham hocks in to a nice aline dress. You will look nice, stylish, sophisticated and not like you belong on the dented can clearance isle. Dress yourself with your worth in mind.
Here is another big girl scenario that makes my jaw drop, my head turn, and my face get all perplexed with worry about your health and comfort, sports cars. GIRRRRRLLLLLL... just because you can crisco up and squeeze your lovely lady lumps into a fiat or z3 does not mean you look good while doing so. I see them knees shifting all your junk up in your throat. I know you suffocating, that's why you had to drop the top on a cloudy 42 degree day. Go get you a nice sedan sized sports car. Relax and push the seat all the way back. No one may get to ride in the back with you but at least you do not look like you are stuck and compacted. It do not be crute when you can scratch your knee with your teeth because you are so cramped up.
Big girls and heels.....
We have all seen you stumbling in the stilettos while your knees and ankles are webble wobbling against one another. We cannot do it. You can't balance a brick house on a sewing needle. Go get you some wedges or thick heels, so when you walk you know a heel is not going to give out and you aren't going to be booty up on the ground with an abrasion on your lip that looks reminiscent of Hitler's mustache.
We all want to look beautiful and feel beautiful, but just because they make it, does not mean you need it. Compliment yourself instead of constricting yourself to societal norms. Be you because you are beautiful... but not in a jumpsuit, bikini, little bitty sports car or wobbling in high heels.
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