2018. Eyebrows. Pall Malls. New Years.

It’s been a real long time since I have done this. Too long. Maybe I had a writers block or maybe I turn to writing when I need to soothe my soul or my overactive mind at 1 in the morning. 

But. Let’s catch up. 

I’m still julie. I’m 30 now. I’m not a rapper but I still cuss a lot. It’s a nasty, vile habit. I guess it pairs well with my Miller lite and pall mall menthols. Ha. Speaking of pall mall menthols, this summer at a wedding, I was told I was ghetto because of those said pall malls. That’s not really the trait I expected to peg me as ghetto but hey. Whatever. I’ll take it. 

Most of the time I can contain my cussing. Then emotions slide in to my mind and it’s just like beep beep, censor censor, four lettered words for everyone. It’s terrible. Apparently for everyone else but me. I dont really get offended. That’s not my drama box to open. It takes too much time to get offended and by the time you’re done being offended you will need so much more moisturizer and Botox. It’s expensive to be offended. Don’t worry. I may not get offended but I still have my beliefs and opinions and I will always stand by those and fight for them. I just don’t get upset when someone doesn’t agree with me. I just kinda... get even. Prove a point. Something that will induce thought. Tantrums and acting out never got me anywhere with my mom but long drought nagging that produced thoughts in her head that made her want to strangle me always did pretty good. 

So back to drama box and being offended here’s a good one that coincides with the new year. 

We are already seeing the new year new me shit and we are seeing the old people sticking around. 

Well. I didn’t partake in the new year New me mess. 

Because 

Well. Great. It’s 2018. I’m still gonna be julie. I have been her since 1987 and I think 30 years of bad habits is going to be hard to break 

But. 

I do hope to better myself... while still being Julie. 

If we aren’t striving to do better or be better we are truly wasting everyday. 

Now let’s be real. I’m fat. I got some rolls over here and a few over there. I got some nappy hair. A foul mouth. My cuticles are friggin awful. 

These are those physicals thing I hope to do better with. 

I want to be good and exercise. Eat green things that aren’t peanut butter m&ms. Small steps. 

But. Ultimately I want to love me. 

Loving yourself is what makes us better. Physically. Mentally and socially. 

It’s probably one of the hardest things to do. We are our worst critics. We can pick apart pieces of us no one else sees or cares about. Like my cuticles. The only person who sees them doesn’t care, because those ridiculous cuticles bring him ridiculous monies. 

Shout out to little Paul at the pro nails. You the real mvp. 

Anyway. We are tough on ourselves and anyone who is not like us. 

Hey. Big girls working hard to loose that weight 2018. 

Whether you loose or gain you’re beautiful. Stop comparing yourself to the girl over there. She may be skinny but she has a different struggle. You have yours. She has hers. Build each other up. 

I’m still tired of both ends of the spectrum attacking one another. The big girl mad at the skinny girl and the skinny girl grossed out by the big girl. Stopppahhh. 

This is not always. This is societal standard brain washing. 

We all bruttifull. That’s is not a typo. Say it together.  Bruttiful. 

 

The big girl. The skinny girl. The girl with the big booty. The girl with the flat booty. - dis me. Miss no booty.  The black girl. The white girl. The any girl. Y’all is bruttiful. Love yourself. 

If we took more time loving and not judging we would be happier folks. Hell i mught cuss less. I doubt it. I cuss when I’m happy too. The struggle is real. 

 

I hope 2018 brings a lot of love. Love in this country and everyone’s heart. 

I know I need some extra love in my heart. 

I’m a grudge holder. Girl. I will hold a grudge on a mealy mouth heifer for a minute. A mealy mouth heifer can be a boy or girl. I hope to let go. 

Here a little stories. 

One night, we went out to a little a country dance bar in town. There was this little girl acting just a little too boujie. All the ladies was in the bathroom waiting in line patiently. This little mealy mouth gurlah starts huffing and puffing and acting like she is just too good to wait to use the little porcelain princess throne. Girl. Bye. 

I had to politely tell her,  that her sharpie eyebrows were to ugly to be busting up in that bathroom with that much boujie attitude. 

I’m sure you can guess that this little eyebrow marker bandit didn’t not take that well. 

She tried to be a little crazy and tell me what I was gonna do. Didn’t work for my momma. Sure ain’t gonna work for her with, especially when them brows. So dark and straight like a villain. 

So I politely listened and once she was done i licked both my thumbs and threatened to wipe off her eyebrows in front of all the women and to make sure no one else let her borrow a sharpie. 

I then exited stage left and went back to the dance floor. 

I was just about to boot scoot and boogie and here comes the marker bandit with security. 

Girl. She just didn’t know when to quit. And neither did I. 

Security asked me if I threatened her in the bathroom. I was tickled. They were not. I finally told them and showed them how I had licked my thumb and threatened to wipe her eyebrows off. 

She was not pleased. Again. 

Security was tickled and he told us to stay away from one another. 

Lord knows I was not coming near that eye brow artist and her sharpie. I had done seen her eyebrows. 

I still hold a grudge against that one stick brows marker bandit. 

I got to get over that. She can’t help it. 

So 2018. Here you go. 

I’m going to be better. 

I’m going to write more. 

I’m going to be kinder to everyone. Equal opportunity for all eyebrows. 

I’m gonna let go of grudges. 

I’m gonna love hard. Myself included. 

I’m going to be a better Julie. 

To everyone. 

But. 2018. I’m still gonna cuss. Smoke a pall mall. And be ghetto.